Losing Something, Gaining Perspective

Posted by Dawn Lau on

But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:20-21

Although everyone loves the cool Hong Kong winters, they should come with such a caution: “Warning! Your rings, which normally grip your bloated sweaty fingers, will suddenly slip off easily without a trace!” That’s what happened to me. Thirteen months after my wedding, what I feared would happen, happened. I lost my wedding ring.

I have a history of losing expensive stuff, which has made me more careful, or paranoid rather. I looked it up to see if there was a genetic predisposition: some German researchers found that most people surveyed for forgetfulness and distraction had a variation in a Dopamine receptor – I forget which – that made them more prone to losing things. I might have that gene. 

After I noticed my ring was gone from my hand, I thought it must be in the house, but couldn’t find it anywhere. I commiserated to my friend. (Tip: Next time your friend says she lost something, try to fight the very natural urge to ask: “Have you looked everywhere?”) I thought I might have left it in the office. I told my husband once he came home, and asked if he could drive me back to my office so I could check and have peace of mind. He had the perfect response, “OK. But even if it’s not there, it’s ok.” I was glad he was so calm; if he was upset too it would’ve compounded my distress. The ring wasn’t there either.

I searched “losing wedding ring” on the internet, hoping to find some stories that would make me feel better. Most of the results, funnily enough, were husbands posting questions like, “I lost my wedding ring! How should I tell my wife?” Most of the responses were, “Come clean to your wife right away. Make a move to get a replacement so she knows that you care.” There were stories of renting metal detectors, crawling on the river bed to look between rocks, rallying other passengers on a flight to get on their hands and knees. Stories of miraculous recoveries, stories of forever loss...

The ring, while on the expensive side of the jewellery I own, was more than anything for sentimental value – it was the ring he put on my hand at the altar. But I refused to let the loss of an item steal my joy. When my husband said we should go get it replaced, I half-jokingly said, “I should just get the cheapest thing there.” Part of me didn’t think I deserved more nice stuff. But he looked at me slightly puzzled and said, “You should just get the same one.” He didn’t correlate my carelessness to what he wanted me to have.

It was that moment I realised I didn’t need to be so upset about losing the symbol, when I had the real thing. And the lost ring episode brought it home more than anything. The replacement ring, I realised, can be of even greater significance than the first one. After all, the first ring represented the leap of faith into a new journey. The second one would represent how much, after a year of marriage, my husband had gotten to know me and love me; a reminder of God’s faithfulness in giving me His best.

You can have a beautiful cross necklace. You would be upset if you lost it. But what the necklace symbolises should be your ultimate comfort. The cross represents God’s sacrifice of His Son. And it was at a great cost to Himself. No amount of diamond carat could approximate its value, no amount of money could buy it, no amount of good deeds could earn it.

Where is your treasure? This year, may we truly appreciate the real Cross, wear it upon our hearts daily, display it joyfully, guard it carefully, and cherish it eternally. 

Let us practice seeking God first by:

  • Praising God’s patience to help and wait on us to learn His ways and thoughts; and,
  • Asking God’s perspective when we encounter difficult situation.


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